Uhmmnn, Now I Have A Bed

When I took the decision to leave my father’s house a little over five months ago, I did two things first; one was tell my father about it and the second was contact a carpenter to fix for me a bed as quick as he could before I moved in to the house.

My Dad had offered a bed, sofa seats and a couple of other things to start me off but I shruggingly brushed those off. (What would be the point of independence if half my house had been stocked by him?)

I went on a search for a good carpenter with my housemate Ojakol and we zeroed in on a guy that worked a kilometer away from my newly found home. We agreed terms and he asked that we leave a deposit, which we obeyed too.

Moses, as we’d later learn was his name, promised to deliver a bed in five days. That tallied with the time I wanted to enter the house so I reluctantly agreed and we sealed up business and started the wait.

There is a thing about people called Moses and making people wait. One such Moses is the guy in the bible that patiently but rather frustratingly delivered the Israelites from Egypt. He took them through deserts, plains, separated waters as he promised to deliver them to a promised land, I must add, he didn’t. He died before they reached the land. Another such Moses is FUFA president, Moses Magogo, he needs not much introduction, after taking over FUFA presidency, he’d promised that the Uganda cranes would qualify for the African cup of nations, a tournament we haven’t played in for over 38 years. Long story short, Uganda hasn’t qualified neither has Moses resigned after this failure.

Following closely behind these men is Moses my carpenter. He posits some real credentials that deserve recognition.  From a noble profession of carpentry that has been practiced even by the world’s most famous man – Jesus, Moses has little resolve in his life. He assures and just fails to deliver. Moses has his own time theory that I suppose researchers should look into. His 5pm is our normal next day, his 11am is 5pm and his ‘let’s see about that today’ is come back tomorrow.

Moses assured me he had my bed ready before he even set out the wood that would comprise of it. He told me to pass by the workshop and pick it well knowing he would not be there and also that he hadn’t done a thing about it.

He has his way around phones. He beeps you in the morning and you call him back and he assures you how he spent the night in the workshop grinding the wood for your bed. He then goes ahead to ask that you send an extra 20,000 Uganda shillings for him to pick – whatever carpenters pick- from Bwaise. Bwaise is infact his second reference.  Researchers need to look into his definitions of locations for Kampala, his Bwaise is at times geographically located in his home compound in Kisaasi.

After four months of being in my house without a bed, I had learnt almost everything about carpentry from his excuses. I knew which vanish goes where and how long it takes to dry, I had learnt that wood in Bwaise is procured from Congolese dealers who take up to 14 days driving across the border to deliver it, I had learnt that Moses had four children who occasionally took turns to fall sick everytime I called to ask for my bed. I had also learnt that Moses had divorced his wife and was embroiled in court battles to secure his land from her. I had also learnt that Moses was a strong believer in God whose theory is that the Lord will come back soon and start by taking away all the politicians in Kampala with the exception of Tamale Mirundi, who he says, will be a bother for the Lord to listen to.

Moses subscribed to this creed, he was never wrong.
Moses subscribed to this creed, he was never wrong.

Moses had stories. So many stories, I could write a book out of this wait.

So today, out of guilt, Moses decided to deliver a bed to my house. Never mind that we had a lot of fighting before he fixed it in. Lets just say, If you take Money to do a service, please do the service and not excuses. I know where to pay when I need excuses.

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