I DARE ZAMBIA TO DEFY THE gods! (A LECTURE TO THE ZAMBIAN TEAM)

Uganda is not one of those countries with a pleasant scent or marvelous skyscrapers worth staring at, but certainly some places in it have unscripted gods that only rise to the occasion when it’s due.

I don’t want to give examples, am pretty much not the right source to comment on them but probably ask the Nigeria football team, South African football team and even the Brazilian team. The above mentioned will certainly not miss their words in telling you the place not to be in Uganda.

If it happens to be a stadium then know where you are heading but if they do not tell you a stadium name then probably they will whisper something close to ‘NAMBOOLE’. Now do not be misled by the name, ‘Namboole’ is not an ingredient paste to food and neither is it a local dish of sorts , it’s that one stadium you should never wish to play against the cranes.

Not that it is scary or in poor condition as you had complained but that it harbors the last of the awake sports gods of the country.

In that stadium my dear friends, are tears of fallen teams, chants of Ugandan voices and faces of expectation painted all around the premises need I say multiple Ugandan wins?

The chances that you will win from there are precisely the chances that the Ugandan president will resign tomorrow.

The chances that you will lose are precisely the chances that you will see a tear-gas canister fly around a pack of rowdy human species, call them Ugandans.

The chances that you will pull off a performance better than a loss are the exact chances that no one shall come for the match in a Ugandan jersey and further the chances that Uganda will score are the same chances that no one shall carry a ‘vuvuzela’ for the game.

So take all you can be able to take while you still have the time to smile for Saturday is not far from today.

But however I shall not scare you, even after you have lost the game, there are lots of things in Uganda that can always bring back a smile to your face.

Let’s take a random guess starting with the music you will hear while here.

There is an ‘informal’ national anthem that I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever you will hear titled ‘bakoowu’. Now that song is a classic example of how we whine over our problems, the song takes a multi-dimensional stride into the gaping problems that crop up in the nation day by day and trust you me, Zambia and football are not one of them! So don’t even get to thinking you are mentioned anywhere our ‘informal’ anthem. Then you will hear the rest of the songs and if you fail to figure out the name of the artist, just get a local jargon and add ‘man’ to it or perhaps mention any name of a reptile or perfect drink you have ever taken and there you will have the artist’s name.

You also must have noticed that your bus is not having a smooth-sailing travel time as the day you got here. That I have to first laugh, HEHEHEHE! What did you seriously think? That the roads here are perfect smooth like the American highways? Welcome to banana republic! We only have one stretch of tarmac without a single pothole and that is the road to the president’s home. The rest is a perfect patchwork piece of art with dots of tarmac littering a city.

But however I have to go from here and let you guys have some rest as you await the loss! Even if we lose, quote me right………………………..bottles will fly over the stadium.

2 thoughts on “I DARE ZAMBIA TO DEFY THE gods! (A LECTURE TO THE ZAMBIAN TEAM)

  1. …The turn of events, Zambia won.
    Even so, I much say penalty shoot outs are a game of chance. Never really watch football but the comments of football fanatics it was a tough game.

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