uganda; the social network of thieves.

Just like a hub, the creep out of their sleep, update status with daily theft and robberies, as their notifications pile up from the citizenry that follow them, and at times, they get an inbox from the high one, as some people decide to block them. That all happens in the pearl of Africa, aka banana republic (rajoy).

Well, if you have been in Uganda enough, the gospels of theft are not a conversation worth eavesdropping or perhaps  involve yourself in. I call them gospels because they have achieved their feat of being everywhere, known by everyone and followed by only a few.

The art of social networking bundles together a group of people either with or without a cause to talk of anything, that is considered something and that matches a perfect description of this funny cassava republic.

At every turn of Uganda’s dailies, you cant fail to find a theft case, be it chicken , money, wives and at the height of them all a minister stealing an underpant in a supermarket.

There are no more differentials whether high or low-level, the scumbergs deserve credit for their smartness. From minute taxi-arranged crime which i fell prey to, recently to high level corruption that i always fall prey to, am starting to believe that  a certain gratitude of mercy invented theft social networking, and donated it willingfully to the Ugandans, who this time, for (the very first time) figured out how things work.

It took us centuries to figure out how tweets get sent, then months to figure out that we only had two planes with a multitude of students studying to become pilots, then to figure out that the cost of a bicycle is not 300,000 ug. shs. guess we are not good at all these things but we certainly took to our heels and devoted all our energies in this particular one, ‘theft’.

At any outlet of chapati, the prices vary according to the outlook expression of the customer, glad i lost my spects, i now buy chapati at 200shs. a whole 400 shs. drop, then came the outstanding thieves, telecommunication companies, After busying my phone with their frequent uncalled for messages, the goons think it’s now fashionable to send me job opportunities for a whooping 250shs. of credit, that’s real theft.

The other seemingly outstanding category of thieves is the taxi touts, these chaps vary their taxi fares more than the number of evictions jennifer musisi can make in a thought space. Every morning seems to arise with it’s own price, sounds like they are listed in the stock market, with drops and rises expected every hour.

Just like social networking crept it’s way from ‘mars’ (nw even my grandma has a facebook account) so did theft find it’s way up every creature on these cursed soils my barber not sparing either, this guy started out with me as his only customer with the state-of-art cut (most expensive) going for utmost 1,000shs, four years down the road and it’s 12 times the cheapest, which is a simple rush over your head! pheew.

TO END THE SOCIAL NETWORK CAME INTERNET MODEMS! what a way to crown the network, perhaps we should trade shares and figure out how rich we are as a nation in this social network. These ones had a class-apart form of robbery that cheats you as you heap praises on the damn networks. For three youtube videos, you’d require two fully capacitated 1GB modems else, ride back home and wait for your favorite t.v to play that amazing song you love most.

That’s thives for now, the other category is you reading this blog without following it, certainly you are the only good-branch of thieves left around!

 

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