WHY I’D KILL TO BECOME A KCCA COUNCILOR

It’s one of those jobs, if auditions were up, few would actually vie for it  given it’s involvement with politics and voting, but if you joined the NRM, that would be no bother given the high level rigging machinery. Well that aside, there’s more reason in being KCCA councilor than simply being voted as I had earlier thought.

First is, the elegance with which these goons rave around the city council hall with half gucci-owino made suits and ‘kunkumula’ from downtown for the ladies gives you the extra-aura of swaggering even in your own poverty, if you bumped into one of them outside the council hall, you’d think they’ve got lots to do in their funny one desk-ed empty coffers occupied largely by dust and probably, amongst few, a piece of document like a scribbled upon stationery in Luganda worse-still .

Job description for Councillors largely lies within the boundaries of choosing a side to fall and stick with at the start of your tenure amongst the two warring factions (lukwago and musisi), when this is done, 50% of your work as councillor for KCCA is well cut-out. If you fall in the latter’s block (lukwago) your work lies entirely in supporting every tiny level of hooliganism that crops up be it a motion to turn the authority into a pan-cake frying enterprise. If you can get that right then you qualify to be a KCCA Councillor and then if you fall in the Jennifer musisi faction, your work majorly entails opposing lukwago to your death and walking out of council meetings which is not a hard one.

Example:

Lukwago: My robe should be white.

Musisi faction: noooooooooooooooo!……white will dirten our council chairs

Lukwago faction: White robes signify angels in heaven just like the lord mayor should be.

Now after ascertaining the sides to fall on your next huge task as councillor is to determine the number of coffee breaks to take when in a council meeting. These are the Councillors biggest challenge, alternative A is to take one prolonged one outside the council hall in the chat room and talk about how Rooney made a come-back to Euro football the previous night   amidst a council discussion or the other is to get your coffee and sit at your laptop to check the latest photos of your girlfriend at the beach during a council deliberation on who should be the next deputy lord mayor.

The workload seems not bothering after all considering that council meetings are cut -out according to the faction you chose in your first job description  above, when the Musisi (earthquake) faction meets, your biggest work that day is to choose between a boycott or a walkout same applies to the latter.

 

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