what makes me ugandan..

This is one debate that’s got different views and reasons but me (ugandan english),  i have my 10 reasons that make a Ugandan.

1. To be a Ugandan, you must have a president that travels with a 14 vehicle convoy and a toilet anything less than that then you belong somewhere else, don’t ‘kwesibako‘ on us.

2. you must be loadshedded atleast four hours a day, that’s so ugandan….if you have electricity 24/7, trust me you need to consult your passport makers for correctional services.

3. To be Ugandan, you must not be able to access constitutional square, please if you can access constitutional square, find  your embassy somewhere around town because those things are not for Ugandans.

4. A Ugandan must be able to describe a tear-gas cannister atleast the feeling you get after sniffing some.

5. A Ugandan must know a pothole, corruption , bad health facilities, poor education system, delayed salaries, and for the working class, bad internet days..(this doesn’ exclude warid 3.75G internet.)  for roads, they must have atleast a semblance of a fish farm before construction is carried out.

6. you must have listened to the lousiest of music from funny musicians atleast each with a forged jamaican accent somewhere like nah ting dis, their names range from bebe cool, bobi wine, master parrot, sizzaman, mbu mega dee …chameleone, radio and weasel……ever looked back and wondered what the hell were they thinking!?

7. you must atleast know a guy called moses golola or perhaps judith heard and zari for the sake of options.

8. you must atleast know that walking in some parts of the country is prohibited like kasangati, and entebbe road, and please if you walk from there try as much as possible to check your birth certificate they could have forgotten to add something.

9. contracts are awarded to only those who cant perform and they must be vetted from the prime ministers office after trillions of money are deposited in his account and shared by the various cronies then finally you can also be included in the budget.

10. to be a real ugandan, you must know of some woman that was given the ministry of karamoja, she runs the country you are in, at times makes the most crucial of decisions for the country atleast if not you have heard of Kayihura.

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